But i don't get to spend my time just the two of us. Everywhere we go he will always invite his friends.

It's just that i felt, he priorities his friends than me. It's not that i'm not trying to be understanding.

I'm trying the best i could. Could he atleast consider how i would feel? I'm trying my very best to be patient and being an understanding person just for our relationship. Am i not his priority? I minimize my time spending with my friends because i know he won't like it. I want the best for us.

But its been so hard for me lately. I don't think he could understand that. I hope there still patience left in me.

I don't want to throw out my anger. I've been afraid to tell him how i would feel cause i know complaining bored him. And he wouldnt want to listen to any of my crap, i called my feelings.

Maybe to him i think to much. It's just me having feelings. 

And maybe each time i felt sad, angry and disappointed i feel like going back to the person who always love me and won't get tired of listening to me complaining. I just couldn't.

Only Allah can help me now.

I wish i had a man who really would be there comforting me rather then crying to sleep.

A man who always put my feeling first.

Ya Allah please give me the strength to go through all this.

I want back laughter and my smile. Insyallah one day